the strong friend
You’re always doing things for others and putting their needs first.You are always the go-to person in your friend group, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Would you consider yourself to be the “strong” friend? The friend that everyone can always rely on. The friend that always seems like they have it all together. As the strong friend you are always the cheerleader, and you hardly miss an important moment in the lives of others. Because you are the strong friend you barely ask anyone for help. When you finally do ask for help it’s a shock to others. It kills you to ask others for help because you do not want to seem weak or like you do not have it all together.
At times the strong friend appears as if they are perfect. They have so much going for them. It may seem like their burden is light, but in reality they tend to carry the burdens of others. The reality is the strong friend is usually suffering in silence. The strong friend usually puts up a facade that everything is ok, even though their worlds could be crumbling, but no one would know. They go on like this for months, years, and decades. These patterns are actually detrimental to their well-being, but they don’t see it that way. Being there for others is part of their DNA.
There is nothing wrong with showing up for others, and that is one of the greatest parts of being the strong friend. Your friends trust you enough to share their problems. They feel that they can be vulnerable with you. I can relate to being the strong friend for as long as I can remember I’ve been the friend that people seem to run to when they have an issue or if they’ve needed to vent. I honestly love being there for my friends and being a shoulder to cry on if they need it, but to be honest sometimes it can be overwhelming. In my experience I am not only there to listen to my friends but also help them trouble shoot some of the issues that they are facing. At times their problems had become my problems. The strong friend usually goes hard for their friends and will do almost anything to be there for their friends.
What about the strong friend who is there for them. Who do they go to when they are having issues? Who do they run to when they are feeling overwhelmed? The strong friend needs help too. Although we may feel like we are superheroes we can not do everything. I feel like the issues that many strong friends have is that they do not know how to ask for help, myself included. Asking for help has always been hard for me, and I was used to doing things on my own. As I began to grow and evolve, I realized that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. In fact it is courageous that you trust someone else to be vulnerable with. My strength as the strong friend comes from knowing when to ask or seek help.
To all my strong friends out there, I see you. For every selfless act that you do for others. For the times that you put your needs last. The times that you’ve felt overwhelmed, but you never let on because you are the rock for so many. For the times you have felt overlooked. I see you. I know the burden of being the strong friend. I know that it is not easy. Please be kind to yourself, and know that the strong friend needs help too.
