self-care
Self-care, self-care, self-care, that has been the buzz phrase for the last couple of years. Everyone seems to be focusing on taking care of themselves, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, what if you’re so used to taking care of others, and you haven’t made yourself a priority. What if you tell yourself that you do not have the time? What if you tell yourself that you need to keep a booked schedule in order to get ahead? These are some of the questions that many black women ask themselves. These black women not only carry the weight of their lives, but the weight of others’ needs. Taking care of themselves seems like a foreign concept.
As a black women, we are taught that we are supposed to be strong and tough. Black women are taught that we should bear the struggle of others, and we should not complain when we are in need. A large number of black women are the head of their households. How could we let our loved ones down? This has been a cycle passed down from generation to generation. I have spoken to many black women who have never taken the time to take care of themselves. Some had mentioned that they have not seen examples of black women taking care of themselves. While other black women have mentioned that they feel guilty about taking the time to take care of themselves or making themselves a priority. When asked why they don’t take care of themselves, the answers I got were astounding. Some stated that they did not have the time for self-care because all their time was spent on taking care of others. Others sighted that they were too busy working that they didn’t have the time to schedule self-care.
When I hear about how black women do not make the time for self-care, I think about how this affects their physical and mental health. When we don’t take the time to care for ourselves we are telling ourselves and others that we are not worthy. The message that we put out there is that we are not priorities in our own lives. It makes me sad to know that black women don’t believe that they deserve to do something good for themselves. When we continuously do this we can burn out. Once you burn out you have nothing else to give to not only yourself, but also to anyone else. We have to change our mindset that we are the priority, and that when we are emotionally full we can then pour into others.
Some believe that self-care needs to be immense and that is not the case. Self-care could be whatever you want. Self-care could be journaling, or a five minute walk.. It could be putting your phone on airplane mode for a few minutes so you can have uninterrupted time for yourself. Self-care could be cooking your favorite meal or ordering your favorite meal. It could be finally making your mental health a priority and making an appointment with a therapist or finally setting up an appointment with your PCP. Self-care isn’t tailored to a one size fits all. You need to figure out what works for you. As long as you are making yourself a priority that is all that matters.
Black women remember that being strong doesn’t mean forgetting about yourself. Remember you are worthy of being a priority, and you deserve to be taken care of.
